Fate Comes to Call
Dave the Drunk
Bros before Hoes, but Drinks above all
Poor Dave started out as a honest, straight-forward man, not without a few vices. Fell in love with a lass, married at a young age, and just like that, Dave became a family man. Nine kids later (and he was sure not all of them his), Dave yearned for a life of adventuring and glory. So he ventured from his small village, away from his aging, naggy wife under the guise of finding treasure to support his family. The road to Gonost proved treacherous: he was robbed, stepped on, abused, and all around weary, but he made it. He crawled his way to the nearest inn, and he must have stayed for days, trying to drink away the uncertainty and pain of his journey. After a weeks worth of drinking, Dave found himself a new best friend not just in a bottom of a tankard but also in a boastful, strong-looking war priest. He never did catch his name, but he will forever be in his mind, Wendigo-Man. Even when Dave woke up hours later in a jail cell in women’s clothing, he could not fault him- this was just the kind of shock-and-awe his wearisome life needed to pull himself together and realize the glories and triumphs of staying home away from Wendigos and robbers and inns with good ale. Dave finally began the long journey home.
It was along this journey home that Dave decided to take a “shortcut” through the local woods to make a “small detour” past a friendly inn that still allowed him to buy drinks on credit. The trip started out well enough with Dave only getting lost once. Suddenly however, the once familiar trail became completely unrecognizable and the sounds of wolves on the hunt howled in the distance.
Dave was almost scared sober then, but luckily he remembered the “emergency flask” of ale he had stolen from the Winnebago killing priest some time before. Gulping down this refreshing beverage, Dave found the courage to once again go forward. Proceeding through the now foggy forest, Dave suddenly found himself at the gates of an ancient towering dark castle. As he approached the gates they swung open silently to great him.
All this was many weeks ago. Soon Dave suddenly realized that he no longer craved the gods of barley malt and hops as much as he used to. Instead Dave has spent his nights learning the joys of this new " blood wine" his new drinking buddy Count brooding dude!..Uh..Beervoria master!…Uh…Stdrink Von Wineovich!… has offered him. For free! Best deal evar!
“I’ll hic get his name right hic eventually!” Exclaimed Dave. “It’s so wierd that hic he keeps his wine *inside*of people! I never hic would have thought hic of that!”