Fate Comes to Call

Prayer for Some Kind of Miracle

Austere Lady,

I know I ask for a lot. I know I’m probably pushing it right now. But we need divine intervention if we all want to get out alive.

Jolias is critically injured. Max is… Somewhere. If he’s even alive. Axe will probably do something unwise to save him. There’s fire and lightning and the cave might collapse at any minute and I’m not sure if we can come back from that. The relic may certainly be lost.

I can focus on getting everyone else out. If he is alive, please, please give Max some divine intervention or insight and I swear to you I will BEAT some of your teachings into him if necessary.

I know with war and battle there is casualties, and sometimes losing one to save much more is a tactical decision.

But if Max goes down I’m not sure if we will be fighting together for much longer

Prayer for Strength
Rocks fall, everyone dies

Austere Lady,

Please give everyone the strength to push on through this trial. I have a feeling we still have a lot more to go. This ghost-thing was bad enough.

I would think the view from up here would be kind of nice, if it wasn’t for this fog. Regardless if the fog wasn’t here it would be nice to get a raven’s-eye view of this place. Obviously we arent in Siendart anymore, but it would be interesting to see just how far Barovia stretches.

A bad thought did just cross my mind though. We had such a hard climb up. Some of us fell a few times.

Should we survive of course, I hope getting down the mountain is not as difficult as getting up.
A mountain of regret

As the party climbs the mountain dakras reflects on the old world. He certainly knew such mountains existed and had seen a small number in the distance but had never been close to, much less attempt to climb one.

During the early stages of the climb it was easy, just don’t lea, forward and watch your step, once the first major obstacle was upon them it was another story.

Floating up the mountain with levitate had benefits aside from no risk of falling. As the others were forced to watch the wall dakras was free to watch the landscape, seeing the region from the air, instructing the undead on how to climb, and securing ropes as needed.

The fear of the prized undead falling to its doom was one of the fears present in his mind, especially during the first vertical portion. The fear was replaced however when the skeleton forced its way up. It may not have had the mind required to plan its next step, or the technique of a seasoned climber, but what it did have was pure strength. When there was no obvious hand hold it instead drove its fingers into the stone making its own.

While everybody else climbed dakras was left to wish he had the strength requires for the climb. Using magic to ascend had its use and was easy but provided no improvement. He would not become better or stronger by taking the easy way.

A test of Resolve
Bitch Please

As we ascended the Mountain Fane I could feel every muscle in my Body begin to tear, Axe seemed unfazed by the incredible difficulty, only missing a step once or twice, I tried to assist him as best I could using my command of the stormy winds. As we struggle, I see Antonio and Dakras essentially cheating the challenge. On one hand I want to ask them where their sense of self improvement is but on the other hand I’m quite impressed with their ingenuity. I would commend Dakras on this, but he seems colder to me than usual, perhaps he is still upset about femur…he hasn’t mentioned anything otherwise. As I ponder that thought, we arrive at the top and I see a glorious storm brewing above us, one of the first times I have felt moderately comfortable in this wretched place, however even here there is a palpable taint that unnerves us all, this is an evil place. I decide to bolster the party’s resistance to electricity, understanding quite intimately how an enemy storm mage could be quite dangerous here. We make our way to the burned out tower only to face a legion of ghostly entities enveloped in one terrible monster, Dakras and Antonio in their great wealth of knowledge do not even know much more than it’s name. It soon attacks Axe first as it lashes out against him causing him to live out all his nightmares. I too soon feel this effect, but it cannot sway me so easily, it cannot show me anything I have not overcome before, I have been through the darkness once before, I refuse to go back. My resolve is absolute, even if my mind and body falter, my Will carries me on.

Barovia Wars 2: The Dwarf Strikes Back
Everyone looked like swiss cheese that day

It was determined that we were to go after the Mountain Fane next on our journey to stop the Lord of the Lands and to go back home. But I was expecting there to be some sort of mountain pass. No. Of course not. We had to go climb the mountain. On our first journey there, I tried my new spell. I didn’t tell anyone about the spell. Omen of Peril is what it’s called. It said the journey was safe. For the most part, it was true. I was safe from whatever happened to the my companions. A shower of arrows pierced my companions as I just stood outside from the area that they were. With arms crossed, I watched as my companions fell to the ground because of a sleeping poison that was on the arrows. This is the handy work of the dwarf. No doubt about it. The walking stepping stool set a trap for my companions. Sadly, the one who triggered the trap was my sister. Now I got something else to annoy her about. Luckily, my sister was the only one to make it out of there unaffected by the poison. Using her strength, we carried our companions all the way back home. My sister gave Dakras a potion and the others a something. I forgot what the name was but when you said it, it made it sound like you were a cat throwing up a hairball. Anyway, that’s what happened with Max. He threw up everywhere. We got back to the manor in time. Everyone was put to sleep. Antonio expected me to heal them back up.
“Not this time I’m afraid” is what I would’ve want to say to Antonio.
However, after this incident, the dignity of my party shriveled up as soon as we retreated. So my answer was more on par with what everyone expects of me to say to them when asked if they can heal the bleeding wounds that was the cause of their mistake.
“No.” With that response, I slammed the door of the manor behind me and went to go to the bar to drink some more “liquid courage.”
“In memory of my party’s dignity that day.”
I drank two cups of my liquid “dignity” and gave advice to the villagers to always watch your step whether it be cow manure or a tripwire that puts the majority of your party at risk.
I come back home to a somewhat annoyed Julianna, which was no surprise.
The next day arrived and Antonio was annoyed at me during breakfast. He said “It would be very tactical of you to heal us the day before, Jolias.”
What I wanted to say is that “It would be very tactical for the trap finder to find traps, wouldn’t it?”
However, I just stayed shut. If I said that, one of the party members omitting Dakras would tell me to go “screw yourself.”
Antonio wanted to go through another luck ritual. I refused to join but paid for everyone’s cost of the money as I have reason to believe that this is some sort of scam to rid of everyone’s money. The party didn’t question where the money came from except for one: Dakras. But no paid attention to Dakras at the moment, so my church fund is safe. For anyone reading this, please understand that the money was for the construction of the Church of the Austere Lady. I still remember my original mission to spread the word of the Austere Lady while my sister goes into other people’s affairs. Once we get home, I wish to start the Church of the Austere Lady in Fiveport. However, it will take more than some platinum pieces and some gold pieces to start construction.

Touch the shiny
It had be done

Yo Max, overcharge it one time Boy!

Yo MACE, let’s kick it!

Touch the shiny.
Touch the shiny.

Alright stop. Collaborate and listen. Max is back with my brand new invention. Something grabs a hold of me tightly. Touchin all the shinys daily and nightly!

Will it ever stop? Yo I don’t know! Turn off the lights and I’m so cursed that I’ll glow! To the extreme I grab all the shinys like a gypsy! Sorry Jolias! Gettin cursed again is how I get tipsy!

Tactics? Got a shiny that gleams? I’m rushin in again better ready your memes!
Deadly? Why yes! To myself mostly. Not gettin cursed again is how I get lonely.
Love it or leave it you better get out of my way. When I see a shiny Max don’t play.

If there is a shiny, Yo I’ll touch it. Watch me get cursed while my raven flies around it.
Touch the shiny. Touch the shiny.
Touch the shiny. Touch the shiny.
Touch the shiny.

Now that the party is freakin! With my latest curse locked in and my HP’s are dropin! Quick to the point to the point of no fakin! Picking up all the shinys like they’re wrapped up in bacon! Wearin em! On every body slot I got! Try to get em back and you’ll eat a crossbow bolt shot! And a lightning bolt with an overcharged tempo! I’m on a roll so it’s time to go solo.

Rollin! To make my boltstrider go. With all my cursed shinys out so they can glow. The party is on standby waitin for me to fail another save and die. Did you save? Nah, I just waved half my CON bye bye!
Kept on, chasing shinys to flip. I busted a left and I’m headed to the next crypt. That crypt was dead yo, so I continued to Von Zarovich Lane. Castle Ravenloft Avenue!

Strahd’s wives were hot wearin not a lot of clothes. Vampire spawn lovers flying through the air like trained pros. Jealous, cus I’m wearin all the bling. My rave with his beak and Max with 20 rings!
Ready for the minions on the wall. The spawns are acting ill cause they’re commanded to make me fall. Lightning. Lanced down like electric hell. One overcharge and they’re turned to gel.
Spell points. Running out real fast. Boltstriders still up so I slammed on the gas. Bumper to bumper this bridge is too packed. I’ve got to get away before the Dwarf vampire jumps on my back.
Strahd’s wives on the scene, you know what I mean? I cast gaseous form and jet away like a jumping bean.

If there is a shiny, Yo I’ll touch it. Watch me get cursed while my raven flies around it.
Touch the shiny. Touch the shiny.
Touch the shiny. Touch the shiny.
Touch the shiny.

Take heed cause I’m a shiny object touchin poet. I’ll grab all the shinys before you even know it. My belts, my amulets and rings. I’m so cursed the god of curses just sings. When he thinks about me his body starts to sweat, I’m wearing shiny cursed bling that he hasn’t even invented yet!
I’m so cursed all the other players say “Damn!” I’ve got so many curses on me my body should be made out of grape jam.
Overcharged and ready for every dire cursed item I find. You don’t like it stop wasting my time. I’ll shock you! Like the T-Rex I fried! Come over here punk let’s take this outside!

If there is a shiny, Yo I’ll touch it. Watch me get cursed while my raven flies around it.

Touch the shiny. Touch the shiny.
Touch the shiny. Touch the shiny.
Touch the shiny.

Yo rave! Let’s get out of here!
Word to your DM!

Touch the shiny. Too cursed!
Touch the shiny. Too cursed! Too cursed!
Touch the shiny. Too cursed! Too cursed!
Touch the shiny.Too cursed! Too Cursed!

A hags gift

The guardian of the swamp was a Hagen elf who became enraged when Antonio mentioned us destroying the shrine. She managed to hex half the group into being dazed before we were able to slay her.

We waited for a minute but they showed no signs of coming to their senses. At Antonio’s previous advice, I was ready to slit his throat, but Jolias insisted on trying to restore them. Eventually as everyone else was fiddling with the shrine, I replenished my missing spell power with the hag. Unfortunately, the body was burned away by my attempt but I gained a new spell from the endeavor. The spell grants me the ability to clear cut the land in front of me and to harm any creature in the way. After I tested the spell, Axe was in shock. I’m half tempted to use the spell again in the future for the ease of the group’s travels but I’ll refrain for party cohesion and Axe saving my life.

Damn you ugly
Baby got rot

As we make our way through the swamp after the death of the lightning dodging T. rex. Next we encounter this blood sucking eels, fucking Ravenloft…even the animals are bloodsuckers, it’s like this whole plane was constructed with atheme or something, like cruel intelligent design. The sooner I escape this place, the sooner I wipe that smug look off of Danny’s face. Let’s go climb a cursed mountain, no big deal. I feel like I forgot something..oh fuck that bitch was ugly! Why am I just remembering this?!

Report Harvesterrrrrrr
I feel woozy

Jusst get out of surrrgeryy, it hurted really bad but Jolias said if I drank it would make the hurt go away more better

So the meanie vampire guy made my FAVORITE thumbkin fall offff. That was NOT cool. Then again, we were trying to steal his bossess power from the swampy place. That was not cool of us but his boss is not cool AT ALL.

My poooooor raven got hit by rocks in the sky and died. I liked that one too. (Julianah pauses to pour a bit of drink out for Raven #4) The rocks also killed weird vampire magic guy too.

Then Dakrrrs got dragged by a crab bug thing. Chuul. That’s what it is. Chuul. But then a bush attacked us. Then BUTTERFLIES BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLIES. Then a big ugly TREX. BAD TREX. It also dodged LIGHTNING.

Then found ugly eye lady. She was like, REALLY UGLY. So ugly half of us stared and did jack squat. I felt kinda bad bout it but oh well. Maybe she was so evil because she was ugly.

Then once she dead we found a tooth. Axe took it and was like more happy in swamps. Also Dakr killed treez.

Then we went back, and I just woke up with thumbkin back on my hand. It was cool and all, but it hurt like alot. Then Jolias gave me this drink.

So yeahh. Ima go sleepy time nowz.


Curious is the Trapmaker's Art
All the RNG items will be mine

That Rod of Chaos is certainly a dangerous item. When Dakras and Antonio told me about the set that this wand belonged to, I couldn’t help but be curious. This item made me feel something I haven’t felt in a long time: curiosity. This item piqued my interest in the Rainments of Wonder. I can definitely make an impact with a wand such as this one. It’s a fine specimen of what primordial magic can be like in it’s purest form. Maybe once we get back to Fiveport, I will research into the set. This curiosity is dangerous. Most of my party would attempt to derail me from my newfound obsession with the set. Dakras would not care. Maybe I can ask him to help me.


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